Explaining the Reality of Marriage in Secular Terms- Part 2

Marriage as God’s Plan for Creation
Stated in Terms the Culture can Understand

A secular definition:

Marriage unites a man and a woman with each other and any children born from their union.

It is important to have a working definition for marriage, a definition that states what we know to be true, in language that anyone can agree with. This definition describes marriage in its totality as a good.

Blessed John Paul II expressed it as a communion of persons in marriage mirroring the communion of persons in the Trinity leading to the communion between parent and child. Marriage expressed this way is a phenomenon— something that can be observed through the senses and lived experience.

For the reality of marriage to be evident, it must be expressed in its totality. This definition expresses procreation, motherhood and fatherhood, the irreplaceability of spouses and children, the irrevocable nature of authentic love, kinship, family, and the good of the spouses and the good of the children. It even takes into account the heartbreak of infertility.

Understanding the reality of marriage is independent of faith or belief in God. This definition of marriage makes it evident that it is integral to God’s plan for creation while not relying on scriptural backing to make the claim. Civil v. Religious Marriage: Marriage as defined above is the same reality recognized by every culture, state, and religion since the beginning of time, each in its own way and within its own competency. The Catholic Church also recognizes marriage as a sacrament.

Can Marriage be Recognized by the Sum of its Goods?

The natural way to discuss marriage is to focus on the nature of the conjugal relationship between man and woman, its procreative nature, and the rearing and education of children. Today, it is difficult for many, especially young people, to understand marriage in this way because pervasive cultural influences distort the meaning of love, human sexuality, marriage, and family and obscure many of the goods of marriage:

• Procreation has become non-essential to marriage. Human sexuality, to most, has been redefined to mean the satisfaction of an appetite or a means of creating a sense of intimacy for self. Many make no distinction between heterosexual and homosexual sexual relations.
• Children have become disconnected from marriage. 41% of children are now born to unmarried mothers and 44% of 18-29 year olds now think that the increase of alternative families, in which children are deprived of a mother or father or both, is a “good thing”.
• Parenting—the rearing and education of children —has become disconnected from marriage and is seen as purely a social role with competency being the only important qualification, not kinship.
• The good of the spouses is now seen as the benefits of friendship, rather than an indissoluble self gift and fidelity to their common good.

For these reasons, attempting to support what marriage is by drawing on social sciences and biology, no matter how impeccable the reasoning, will bring no more clarity to what marriage is. It must be expressed in its totality.

Strengthening the Institution of Marriage

Marriage is a natural institution established by the free mutual consent of a man and woman. In addition to recognizing the reality of marriage, laws, religious observances and societal organizations point to the reality and, through their example and teaching power, support the thriving and protection of marriage in the culture.

Laws and societal organizations must be judged by how well they support marriage as the foundation of the family. Advocating for them to support and promote marriage is a work of social justice because it strengthens the family, the first cell of society.

Return to part 1